So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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