Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
