I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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