You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Come on in and take your pants off
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
