I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
