im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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