legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
