I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
