Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
