good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize