Have you finally orgasmed yet?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
