what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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