It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
