do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
