All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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