so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
