Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
