fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
