Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
