I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
