he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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