as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize