Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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