so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize