no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
