omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
