So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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