I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
