He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize