I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
