I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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