How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
