I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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