Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize