So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So many bounce houses so little time
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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