All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
