therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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