I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
