He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
