babies were throwing up all over the place
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize