i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I want to be your penis for a week.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
