if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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