Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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