fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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