Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
be right there i have to get my cape
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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