please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Found the puke drawer
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize
