between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
