Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize