also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
