she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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