his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize