Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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