update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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