It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
