pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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