True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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